


Why Bug-man is Stupid, by the Hulk

by StrangerWithMyFace



Category: Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-17
Updated: 2012-05-17
Packaged: 2017-11-05 13:16:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/406848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangerWithMyFace/pseuds/StrangerWithMyFace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ant-man has quit the Avengers and Hulk wishes he could be glad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Bug-man is Stupid, by the Hulk

**Author's Note:**

> It's hard to write Hulk thoughts. I noticed he doesn't always speak in the third person in the cartoon, so I tried to vary it. Sorry if that is confusing.

Hulk was glad Bug-man was leaving the Avengers. 

All Pym ever did was talk and talk and talk about how fighting didn't solve problems, violence was bad, blah, blah, blah. If that was true, why did the world need the Avengers anyway? Hulk would have smashed him long ago, if it had been up to him. Too much talking. Cupid had been able to turn it into a game. He called it a "drinking" game except there was no drinking involved. Every time Pym said these things, Stark owed them money. 

Stark said the team needed Bug-man because he was a genius. Hulk didn't think he was very smart because he was always somewhere else when the fighting started and usually missed the best parts. Also he built those toy robots that almost got them killed that time. That wasn't very smart. 

Hulk bet Banner was smarter. 

But… Pym hadn't even been gone a week and Hulk didn't like it. It was an odd sensation. Kind of like he had an ice cube in his stomach. Hulk didn't know what it was because it felt more like a Banner feeling than a Hulk feeling. 

Iron Man said it was that they all missed Pym. Hulk did not miss Pym. Hulk would smash Pym, except he did not think that would help. 

Hulk missed the _Bug-lady_.

Jan was too quiet. She hadn't made faces at Hulk for days now. And usually when there was fighting to be done, she was the first one ready to go but now she was slow. And her wings kind of drooped. 

Hulk liked the Bug-lady. She was his… friend. 

_"You… You're helping me."_

_"Yeah! Now hit him."_

She had been his first friend, the one who came to his aid when the Gravity Guy was hurling things at him. 

Hulk wished there was someone he could hit that would make her happy again. He tried to think of things that made him happy. Fighting, obviously but that hadn't worked. There was one other thing. 

A few moments later he was standing at her door, feeling silly. He shouldn't have bothered. It was stupid. He was just a monster. He was about to go back downstairs when the door opened and she nearly collided with him. 

"Whoa, didn't see ya there, big guy." She peered up at him. "What are you doing?"

Hulk shifted his weight and held out his arms. He had brought food. Eating made everyone happy, right? 

"Hey, you brought me ice cream," she said, plucking the cold container from his hands. "How'd you know?" 

Hulk had seen her eat it before. (She liked the green one, with the chocolates and the mints.) He had chosen it because he wouldn't be tempted to eat it on the way up the stairs. Hulk didn't like how ice cream made his head hurt when he ate. She had tried to tell him once that it wouldn't hurt if he ate it slower, but Hulk didn't see the point in that. 

Jan looked at the container. "My favorite!" she exclaimed. 

Too late Hulk realized he had forgotten the spoons. People who were not Hulk used forks and spoons. He used his hands. Wasp didn't seem to notice though. She lifted the lid off the ice cream, licked it and smiled up at him. 

She smiled, really smiled. "Thanks, Hulk. You're the best." 

Hulk decided two things in that instant. One, it was good that he was green so he didn't blush. And two, Banner was definitely smarter than Bug-man…


End file.
